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Weddings: The newest form of exploitation
Much Know
#121 Posted : Thursday, July 18, 2013 5:18:47 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/6/2008
Posts: 3,479
Forester wrote:
While at it, what is reasonable dowry to pay for a Meru chic according to their traditions? I know of a guy who's been asked for over 0.5M. Ata kama dowry haishangi...seriously?!!!

That is an OK dowry, not easily affordable, ata lipa pole pole, people have paid much more for ngooood meru ladies, just pay for a relaxed atmosphere at home!
A New Kenya
Lolest!
#122 Posted : Thursday, July 03, 2014 11:17:33 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/18/2011
Posts: 12,064
Location: Kianjokoma
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Quote:
Please don’t invite me to your wedding committee:

1. If it is the first time you are speaking to me after 3 years. If you are not my friend and I am not yours, why are you involving me in your life at this point and time?

2. If you can afford to foot your wedding budget. Asking people to help should be just that help. Not funding your lavish lifestyle.

3. If I have never met your fiancee. That just means that we are not friends. And I will only take time out for my friends, no apologies there.

4. If we have never been friends. Seeing you in church doesn’t mean that you are my friend.

https://njenvasramblings...m/tag/wedding-committee/
Laughing out loudly smile Applause d'oh! Sad Drool Liar Shame on you Pray
Kihara joni
#123 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 4:08:53 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/8/2013
Posts: 386
Location: Nyali mombasa
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.
sparkly
#124 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 6:30:49 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 9/23/2009
Posts: 7,958
Location: Enk are Nyirobi
smano wrote:
I'm headed that way in a few months and I believe we are saying the same thing in different ways, we seem to agree on most of the core issues.

I'm a firm believer that our wedding is our wedding and no one else's. So I have saved for my entire dowry but my close friends and relatives all want to escort me because I have also walked with them in the past. So I won't begrudge them the opportunity to do so, it would simply unafrican. The extra funds can go to other areas of the wedding preparation.

We have also saved for the wedding and do not want a committee until the last few months strictly for logistic purposes. Quite a number of friends are already asking to be in the committee since they want to play a part, and once again, we won't begrudge them.

If it was up to me I'd only invite close friends and close relaz but our two families are massive and there's a very set extended family social dynamic that we can't ignore....so you find your relatives and parent's friends for both us already number 200 - 300, and that is a modest estimate. That is when a wedding starts stressing a couple and you see them going to such lengths to keep up with the Macharia's whose wealthy parents funded the fairy tale wedding to the cent! Thankfully, ni vizuri kua mtu wa watu, as McDoba asks, who do you hang out with?

Anyway, the long and short of it is that a wedding is very personal but is a social event for genuine close friends and relatives who are genuinely happy for you. The rest who come to see whether it was as high profile as theirs or whatever, those will not be around when you're having a marriage...

I also believe if you have set a good foundation and have put yourself in good stead with the chic's family, there would be person's in the dowry negotiation who would be against you being taken advantage of as the guy. Maybe I'm naive but hayo ndio maoni yangu...



@Smano congrats on your upcoming nuptials.

Word of advise... Arusi si yako, ni ya bibi. Achia bibi na marafiki wake waipange.

Yours is just to offer maximum support on the budget, pay dowry, get vehicles for the day, panga honeymoon and of course show up and enjoy yourself on the big day.
Life is short. Live passionately.
butterflyke
#125 Posted : Tuesday, August 05, 2014 10:56:21 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
Kihara joni wrote:
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.


Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi smile
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
Angelica _ann
#126 Posted : Wednesday, August 06, 2014 9:40:06 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,837
sparkly wrote:
smano wrote:
I'm headed that way in a few months and I believe we are saying the same thing in different ways, we seem to agree on most of the core issues.

I'm a firm believer that our wedding is our wedding and no one else's. So I have saved for my entire dowry but my close friends and relatives all want to escort me because I have also walked with them in the past. So I won't begrudge them the opportunity to do so, it would simply unafrican. The extra funds can go to other areas of the wedding preparation.

We have also saved for the wedding and do not want a committee until the last few months strictly for logistic purposes. Quite a number of friends are already asking to be in the committee since they want to play a part, and once again, we won't begrudge them.

If it was up to me I'd only invite close friends and close relaz but our two families are massive and there's a very set extended family social dynamic that we can't ignore....so you find your relatives and parent's friends for both us already number 200 - 300, and that is a modest estimate. That is when a wedding starts stressing a couple and you see them going to such lengths to keep up with the Macharia's whose wealthy parents funded the fairy tale wedding to the cent! Thankfully, ni vizuri kua mtu wa watu, as McDoba asks, who do you hang out with?

Anyway, the long and short of it is that a wedding is very personal but is a social event for genuine close friends and relatives who are genuinely happy for you. The rest who come to see whether it was as high profile as theirs or whatever, those will not be around when you're having a marriage...

I also believe if you have set a good foundation and have put yourself in good stead with the chic's family, there would be person's in the dowry negotiation who would be against you being taken advantage of as the guy. Maybe I'm naive but hayo ndio maoni yangu...



@Smano congrats on your upcoming nuptials.

Word of advise... Arusi si yako, ni ya bibi. Achia bibi na marafiki wake waipange.

Yours is just to offer maximum support on the budget, pay dowry, get vehicles for the day, panga honeymoon and of course show up and enjoy yourself on the big day.


Guys need to read dates of posts. The wedding happened, we celebrated with @smano, accepted and moved on. They are in bliss now world like @washiku!
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
Rankaz13
#127 Posted : Wednesday, August 06, 2014 9:43:56 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,840
Location: Here
butterflyke wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.


Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi smile


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Kihara joni
#128 Posted : Wednesday, August 06, 2014 3:41:26 PM
Rank: Member


Joined: 5/8/2013
Posts: 386
Location: Nyali mombasa
butterflyke wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.


Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi smile

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly of course kitambi itacome, I should at least leave with 50% of my gift cost in my stomach in form of mushere, mbaru and mukimo.
Angelica _ann
#129 Posted : Wednesday, August 06, 2014 3:51:42 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 12/7/2012
Posts: 11,837
Kihara joni wrote:
butterflyke wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.


Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi smile

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly of course kitambi itacome, I should at least leave with 50% of my gift cost in my stomach in form of mushere, mbaru and mukimo.

Kwani hiyo fat gift ni ya 2k shindwe!
In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins - cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later - H Geneen
butterflyke
#130 Posted : Wednesday, August 06, 2014 9:34:55 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/1/2010
Posts: 3,024
Location: Hapa
Angelica _ann wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
butterflyke wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.


Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi smile

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly of course kitambi itacome, I should at least leave with 50% of my gift cost in my stomach in form of mushere, mbaru and mukimo.

Kwani hiyo fat gift ni ya 2k shindwe!


kitambi takes some investment, more than 2K

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. - Muhammad Ali🐝
kysse
#131 Posted : Thursday, August 07, 2014 1:58:36 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 1/17/2013
Posts: 4,693
Location: Earth
butterflyke wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
butterflyke wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.


Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi smile

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly of course kitambi itacome, I should at least leave with 50% of my gift cost in my stomach in form of mushere, mbaru and mukimo.

Kwani hiyo fat gift ni ya 2k shindwe!


kitambi takes some investment, more than 2K

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


That kitambi I suspect is insured.
Rankaz13
#132 Posted : Thursday, August 07, 2014 9:15:46 AM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 5/21/2013
Posts: 2,840
Location: Here
kysse wrote:
butterflyke wrote:
Angelica _ann wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
butterflyke wrote:
Kihara joni wrote:
I am starting to get alot of SMSs from friends who want contributions for

1) dowry
2) pre-wedding
3) wedding
4) wedding committees
5) sijui goat eating.
I have decide to ignore most of them because i don't think you should ask everyone to help you to marry your wife,
what I have seen from where I am is that if any contribution is to be made the dad & uncles are the ones responsible.
so I wont contribute, but Ill show up at your wedding with a very fat gift.


Bora hio very fat gift sio kitambi smile

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly of course kitambi itacome, I should at least leave with 50% of my gift cost in my stomach in form of mushere, mbaru and mukimo.

Kwani hiyo fat gift ni ya 2k shindwe!


kitambi takes some investment, more than 2K

Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly


That kitambi I suspect is insured.


d'oh! you mean like j-lo's ASSets?Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
pleasecallme
#133 Posted : Thursday, August 07, 2014 11:20:26 AM
Rank: Member


Joined: 7/14/2011
Posts: 171
MaichBlack wrote:
Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause

Especially spendthrift!

Some even have the nerve to invite "friends" and committee members for a thanks giving "goat eating" a couple of weeks after the wedding only for them to get there and realize you need to buy an overpriced "flower" which is basically entry fee. You get in and realize the "goat eating party" doesn't even have a goat Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly .


Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly
You kill bird...bird dead snake come.
urstill1
#134 Posted : Tuesday, August 26, 2014 10:21:41 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 9/6/2013
Posts: 1,446
Location: In a house
Swenani
#135 Posted : Tuesday, August 26, 2014 11:35:40 AM
Rank: User


Joined: 8/15/2013
Posts: 13,189
Location: Vacuum
Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly Laughing out loudly

Kyssee,we should open a joint savings account for our wedding
If Obiero did it, Who Am I?
WakaWaka
#136 Posted : Thursday, March 04, 2021 1:38:11 PM
Rank: New-farer


Joined: 7/25/2010
Posts: 41
Location: Kenya
Did a job for this fella, hasn't paid me for 2 years halafu he has the nerve to invite me to be on his Wedding Commitee? Some people are shameless
Gathige
#137 Posted : Thursday, March 04, 2021 5:19:11 PM
Rank: Elder


Joined: 3/29/2011
Posts: 2,229
WakaWaka wrote:
Did a job for this fella, hasn't paid me for 2 years halafu he has the nerve to invite me to be on his Wedding Commitee? Some people are shameless


@WakaWaka, That's a good opportunity to meet up the guy and remind him of the pending matter. When he is wedding moods, an sure he will be obliged to pay as he enters a " new chapter" in his life
"Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Goethe
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